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Welcome to Hoboken, Snooki and JWoww!!

January 25, 2012

Get ready for GTL, Hoboken —Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jennifer “JWoww” Farley are coming! MTV may have rented a brownstone on 4th and Bloomfield for a Jersey Shore spin-off featuring our favorite guidettes.*

In the interest of being a good neighbor, I thought I’d give Snooki and JWoww a (virtual) tour of the Mile Square City.

To stock up on pickles, the girls may want to hit the Garden of Eden on Washington Street. Tell them that the lady who always buys a half-pound of cheddar cheese sent you!

They’ll also need the appropriate beverages. The A&P at 6th and Clinton and Sparrow Wine & Liquor are good places to start.

When Snooki and JWoww take their party on the road, The Madison and City Bistro are always fun. For football on Sundays (aka Sunday Funday), Black Bear, Liberty Bar & Grill, and the Village Pourhouse get packed pretty early.

Should the girls overindulge, both hardware stores on Washington Street sell toilet snakes, which often sold out the morning after the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade. The girls might also want to buy snow shovels while at the hardware store, to dig out their cars after a snowfall. (Assuming that they can find parking…)

For intellectual stimulation, the historic Hoboken Public Library is at 5th and Park, on the far side of Church Square Park. HPL was the third library to be established under the NJ General Library Act of 1894. It doesn’t carry Snooki’s A Shore Thing or Confessions of a Guidette, but these works can be requested through the Bergen County Cooperative Library System.

I think Snooki has a boyfriend, but even so, as she and JWoww search for the gorilla juiceheads of their dreams, Club H and New York Sports Club have plenty of men to admire.

And finally, Snooki and JWoww may want to give back to our community. They might volunteer with the groups I give my time to, Party With Purpose, and our local animal shelter, the Liberty Humane Society. Both groups are very good at organizing happy hours to raise money. (LHS calls them “Yappy Hours” and “Pup Crawls.”)

Party With Purpose raises money for children’s charities. The group holds its annual winter benefit at the W Hotel, which is always a blast. It’s dressy, but you CAN wear leopard print.

Every summer, the PWP 5K and after-party raises money for the Boys and Girls Club of Hoboken. And at holiday time, the club organizes a Thanksgiving and Christmas party for the kids at the Boys and Girls Club. And we DO go out for drinks afterwards, ladies!

And Snooki, I am only as tall as you are, and even I can walk the adoptable pit bulls at LHS! So much fun! Come join me! (Wear old clothes, and bring potty bags…)

*(Disclaimer: This is, for now, just a rumor.)

UPDATE: Apparently the city government has thought better of allowing the show to film here due to the disruption it would cause residents.  Read the post on the city web site here  and the article here.  Sorry Snooki! 😦 I have to say I agree. Enough goes on here as it is.

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One Comment
  1. When I was in Florence this past summer, I saw t-shirts that said, “Go back to F*%king Jersey.” Hysterical.

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